So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
