I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
