Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
