Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
