she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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