She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
