I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
