Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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