Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
