So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
