He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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