would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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