he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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