my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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