he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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