We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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