no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
