so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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