i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
