Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
