I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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