Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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