Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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