She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
