I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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