i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
