everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
