It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
