smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
