if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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