if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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