he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
