actually, I'm a sock model
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
