I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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