Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
