She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
