I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
