What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize