He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
