Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize