What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
