just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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