shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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