booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
