is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
