Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
