He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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