no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
