Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
