If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
