I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
