I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
