i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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