I'm eating all of the evidence.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
