Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
