i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
