Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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