too bad you live with your parents still
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
