There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
