Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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