I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
