Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
being pregnant is like rehab
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
